The Joy Thieves - American Parasite

In the early 00s, my life as an introverted child consisted of myself not ever wanting to go out and meet people. I would rather sit in front of my television playing my Playstation 2 with Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 3 firmly lodged in the disc tray as my brother and I tried to outdo one another in every competition the game had to offer. What also entranced me about the video game aside from the colorful graphics and vistas as well as the wonky cast of characters, was the soundtrack. On the soundtrack were the likes of The Ramones and Guttermouth. As I rode the virtual skateboard through skatepark and urban areas alike did I not realize that I was being indoctrinated into my first bit of punk and punk rock. 

Since these games have I seldom found similar sounding or as energetic punk rock as the game delivered. Most of the punk bands I have come across have little to no energy, sound like their music was produced within the confines of a dumpster, or are just sloppy recreations of earlier prodigies. Enter The Joy Thieves. Though the band has released three EPs and a single thus far, most of them teetered on the edge of industrial rock with a slight punk-edge. However, with their debut album they went straight to their punk roots and have released perhaps one of the greatest punk rock albums of all time. This type of punk rock movement leads me back to my childhood when the world was blissful and all was at peace. "American Parasite" is here to stay and slay all aspects of modern punk music. 



Before I continue with the review, I would like to point out that The Joy Thieves has a massive roster behind them, including Chris Connelly as lead vocalist on the entirety of the album, "Big Paul" Ferguson, Chris Haskett, John Haggerty, Joe Haggerty, Scott-David Allen, Grant Sutton, as well as fifty-plus other members including current, former, and touring members of Ministry, Stabbing Westward, Nitzer Ebb, Revolting Cocks, Pigface, KMFDM, Blue October, Black Needle Noise, 16VOLT, My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult, and more. 

The song to introduce "American Parasite" to the world is none other than the title track itself, 'American Parasite'. This is a three-and-a-half minute, no-nonsense track of pure adrenaline and combustion. Classic punk sounds including rapid-fire drums, guitar riffs that keep up the pace, and pissed off vocals that border spoken word absolutely kill. While many find their aggression turned in louder genres such as death metal and thrash metal, I will take this song and album over those genres any day of the week to sweat to. 

Taking their multi-talented crew on the run comes 'The Long Black Ribbon of Power'. Rather than sticking straight to by-the-numbers punk music, this track mixes the lyricism of rap with groovy guitar tones and clashing cymbals for an almighty hybrid track. Even when The Joy Thieves decide to cut a track short, such as on 'The Strange Case Of...', do they ever shine. Once again mixing automated lyrics in quick succession, the vocal delivery resonates with the quickened pace. 

The three songs above are my favorite on the album, but let it be known that there is not a filler song to be found on the album. This is a no bullshit album that keeps me engaged from start to finish. I've had a couple of workouts and road trips over the past couple of days jamming out to this album and each time I go through it, it just gets better and better with each spin. 

After my first spin of "American Parasite", I was brought back to my childhood playing THPS3 for the first time all over again. After my second, I was taken to the present day where I was presented with a modern punk production that blew me away. After my third spin, I realized that this was another memory in the making. Maybe in another twenty years, I'll be looking back to this time in my life nostalgic for the rides to work when I blasted "American Parasite" out of my windows, or when I was slinging weights to the epic riffs found within the album. Either way, what I can say is that "American Parasite" is something special and is not to be missed. Eight-and-a-half out of ten. 

This review was commissioned through our Ko-fi page.
Jul 03 2021