It-Clings - I'm The Biggest Fucking Thing In The Whole Fucking World

It-Clings, a.k.a Squid or Sqwd, is the spoken word project of the founder of the Canadian industrial/noise label Bugs Crawling Out of People. Squid sucks at making music. Like, really badly. And he also can't play any instruments whatsoever. Which you'd think would make him completely useless in our Industrial scene. However, one thing that Squid is good at is making fun of all of you shitheads, talking about fucking chicks in the ass, and generally just how great he is and how he's the master of all reality and all that encompasses it. He is, after all, the King of Jews, Saviour of All Mankind. And he's gonna make sure that you remember it by repeatedly fucking those words into your skull and releasing his new and improved two disc album entitled 'I'm The Biggest Fucking Thing In The Whole Fucking World.'

Somehow, It-Clings figured out a way to get onstage at an industrial/noise show with this band you may have heard of called Pneumatic Detach (off Bugs Crawling Out of People). And everything spiraled out of control since then. He suckered bands into thinking that it was a good idea to have them all make songs FOR him and he would just babble on and on about how this one girl's cunt smells, or how her shit is probably made of bacon, and they'd actually sell these albums to people who probably went out and rioted in the streets, tipping garbage cans over, throwing bologna on people's cars, and spray painting It-Clings on national monuments And ever since that fateful moment, It-Clings has performed songs with other artists such as S:cage, DYM, Fractured, Worms Of The Earth & Famine.

It-Cling's new release features industrial, noise and dark ambient songs written by CompUterus, Pneumatic Detach, Worms of the Earth, Lucidstatic and Iszoloscope, among other artists on the label and other notable labels. I hope you enjoy being verbally assaulted for an extended period of time (I'm sure there's a fetish out there for that, right?), because this album is on a mission to make you feel like nothing matters in your tiny little universe that is you. You do suck balls, so you may as well get used to it.

I wouldn't recommend listening to this album at work unless you're trying to get fired. In which case I'd turn it up rather loudly. I enjoyed the music on this album. It's hard to mess up an album with so many amazing artists contributing to it. And while the spoken word aspect of it, with it's reoccurring themes, can become a little tiresome after a while, as a whole package it's a solid album. It's hard to listen to every track right in a row, but they are keepers no doubt and will give everyone a hearty chuckle when they hear them at a party or whatnot.

So buy this album. Or don't. I don't think Squid really cares about other people's opinions of him.

(Note: This review is full of sarcasm. Please do not send me hate mail. In case you're really cute. Then you can send me hate mail....and some n00dz). Dec 11 2012