Gothic Guy - E.M.O.(Emotional. Machine. Operation.)

Merry bloody Xmas to me. When I said I wanted a Turkey, this isn't what I had in mind. Welcome to the biggest shame, the worst abomination in the world of music since Justin Bieber was discovered. Ironically, the guy behind this project lists Mrs Bieber as his all time favourite artist.
Fuck.

This is "Dark electro/Noise", according to the artist. No it isn't. This is a project inspired by Justin Bieber/Bitch Brigade. Anyone with Ears can tell you that : Bitch Brigade = good. Justin Bieber = BAD. So, 'E.M.O' (chortle) is the first full album by this artist, Gothic Guy (which is honestly the most pathetic, mundane, retarded name I have ever seen). The artist is a teenager from Brazil, who is a big, big emo. You never get little emos, do you?, Amusingly, he also likes to think of himself as a Goth. He looks more girly then 99% of the girls I know, and likes to pose with Tiaras and Lollipops. Yet, due to the wonderful advent that is Last.fm, he has been able to discover harsh Electronics, and is now the latest, and biggest blemish on the scene. Someone needs to feed him to the Black Metal kids. He won't survive over there.

So, how the hell does 'E.M.O' sound? Here is the annoying thing. It is NOT terrible. It is infinitely better than Combichrist. What "Gothic Guy" has done here, is take all of the elements of the electronica scene that are already in desperate need of renewal, and wipe his lollipop stained androgynous hands all over them. Yay!

Let me give you an example : "Lollipop Cyber (Feat LuluZinhah"). First of all, as if the absolute obsession with Bitch Brigade isn't already obvious here, he has gone to great lengths to make sure he tells Agr1ppa how much he loves her. Many many times. Which I'm surprised hasn't caused her to run like fuck out of Australia, because the ocean separating her and Brazil suddenly isn't big enough. Also, who remembers when it was COOL to have featuring artists? You're meant to have (Feat. Kai from Wynardtage). Not this shit. LuluZinhah is a FOURTEEN year old Girl from Brazil that posts 10 messages a day on the artists last.fm page.

I can just imagine the conversation. "Hurr, you like Justin(e) Bieber too! Hurr, let's pretend you're a well known singer and put your vocals on this album!" No. This is what credits are for. Seriously, if I released a song called "Farting (feat My Bum)" would you like it? The tribute to Bitch Brigade continues with "Ice Pink Hair (feat Nikkie Pleasure)". Agr1ppa knows this is about her. I think she knows in about 50 different ways. I Have no idea who Nikkie Pleasure is. With a name like that, I can't help but feel that we have some teenage emo Brazilian girl squad invading us.

So where is the redemption? Musically, this album isn't POOR. I won't ever listen again, but it has some small parts of merit. However, you judge a release by the full package. Let's face it, if you released an album that sounded like the greatest Covenant CD of all time, and then called it "Sir Poopingtons Poopy Poop Sessions", and had a picture of a Poo on the front cover, you wouldn't rate it, would you?

Ugh. Get out. Worst Brazilian act ever. Even worse than Tatari Gami. Oh, and seriously, leave Agr1ppa alone - you can be a fan without making an absolute stalker-esque album.

Pros:
It's Free.

Cons:
"Gothic Guy"
"Justin Bieber influence"
Using E.M.O as an acronym will NEVER impress anyone. Except those clones who look like you. And masturbate to Blink 182.
Everything about this is wrong. Like a joke, except no one's laughing. Dec 23 2010