Crackula & Metaxu - Split Reality

I remember not too long ago seeing a review put up on this site that gave a certain album a 0.5 out of 10. And when I saw that, I figured, "Hey, that guy must've been really pissed off. I'm sure I'll never use anything lower than a 3." Well, today, I take back my words. I have found something that has officially made me want to nuke an orphanage, and that would be in the form of Crackula & Metaxu's 'Split Reality'.

Now, starting off, I would like to tell you that the band is tagged as being aggrotech, industrial, and witch house. And I can tell you that though there are some elements of each presented within the songs, I refuse to fucking call Crackula & Metaxu anything related to the scene because they are just that big of a fucking embarrassment.

Take the track "Burnz", for example. They start, what seems to me as being rapping within the middle of an industrial song. I don't give a fuck if you're the biggest thing in the industrial nation, you do not start rapping within an industrial song. And I know that industrial is an extremely experimental area, but, fuck me, this album is like the inbred baby that no one in the family wants to talk about.

And I really don't care if I find any sort of redeeming song within this album. "Burnz" ruined it for me. I didn't think the album was good to start off with, but as soon as I happened to stumble upon that song, the inner killer in me started shouting to smash my laptop to bits and pieces and murder the fucking Earth. You want to rap, then get the fuck out of industrial and go beat women with Chris Brown and look like a slut with Nicki Minaj. That's all I have to say for this album, and I don't care if you say, "C'mon, Steve, this album wasn't too bad." Because it fucking was. I regret that fifty cents I spent on it; for all I know, a piece of gum that I could have bought with that fifty cents would've been more worthwhile than listening to this trash. Now, excuse me while I go pray to Jesus to forgive me for ever listening to this. Feb 04 2013